Short Hate List

1. Economists. They make meteorologists seem legit.
   
2. “Pop of color.” How boring are you if you have to remind yourself to not be boring?
   
3. Women trying to pose all sexy with stuffed animals. Bye bye boner.
   
4. Dubstep. Sounds like brown note.
   
5. These atrocious strappy sandals. You know who should be wearing these? Disney Princesses and Eastern European hookers.
   
6. People who insist on putting you on speakerphone every time you call.
   
7. When men say “we’re pregnant.” No, you’re not.