Short Hate List

1. When people misspell (on purpose?) “meet” with “meat.” And by people I mean men.
2. When people feel the need to say “happily” before the word “married.” Cause you know it’s the exact opposite of that.
3. “Jelly” instead of “jealous.”
4. Man buns
5. Let’s make this clear: Star Wars is no longer the barometer for being a geek. Star Trek on the other hand, still is, cause it’s fucking shitty.
6. The people who want government to not regulate what they eat, are the same people who support government regulating who should be able to marry. No irony there.

Short Hate List

1. The people who blame everything on “the media” are the same bunch watching TLC and reading In Touch magazine.
2. If you want your daughter to not be a bitch, don’t name her Courtney.
3. How do you market edgy young music acts nowadays? Do a shitty cover of Nirvana’s Teen Spirit!. Here’s another one just in case the last one didn’t make you want to pour bleach in your ears.
4. People who give made up coupons as presents. Maybe all Dad really wants is a free pass to hit on the waitress at Benihana.
5. Pregnant women posing nude. It’s ten times worse when the dad is there nude too. I don’t know who this is intended for, but I’m positive absolutely no one wants to fucking see that.
6. Job ads looking for a “rock star.” Cause this is what you’ll actually be getting. If you’re the rock star in any office, guarantee you’re also the person everyone fucking hates. In fact, let’s stop calling anyone a rock star altogether.
   

   Tags: misanthropy, nirvana

Short Hate List

1. Economists. They make meteorologists seem legit.
   
2. “Pop of color.” How boring are you if you have to remind yourself to not be boring?
   
3. Women trying to pose all sexy with stuffed animals. Bye bye boner.
   
4. Dubstep. Sounds like brown note.
   
5. These atrocious strappy sandals. You know who should be wearing these? Disney Princesses and Eastern European hookers.
   
6. People who insist on putting you on speakerphone every time you call.
   
7. When men say “we’re pregnant.” No, you’re not.

Short Hate List

1. Cryptic status updates. Ok attention whore, you got me. “Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.” WHAT DOES IT MEEEEAAAN???
2. “Anything good in life is either illegal, fattening, or bad.” Mmmm no there are plenty of things that are just fine and good for you like…oh I duno fucking taking a walk once in a while.
3. Doing | This | Does | Not | Make | You | Look | Skinny
4. Terry Richardson.
5. Skinny ties on fat dudes.
6. People who are on social networking sites and then complain about privacy. Let’s make this clear. Once you post shit on the internet, it is no longer private. PERIOD.
7. “Mixologist.” I don’t care if you can whip up a kick ass martini, you’re still a bartender. Mixologist should be reserved for someone who can concoct a pure batch of meth.
   

Stupid Fashion

Why would a dude wear this?

Anyone with this on is just asking to get punched in the gut.

In case you can’t read it, the text says “No means Yes”. Rape is sexy!

Fuck You.

Yeah this looks like a guy who’s into sports.

Maim? Fist?

This is like a turducken of irony.

I wanna find the stupid bitch who would carry these around and kick her in the vag.

Tags: boobs, fashion, screen print t-shirt, urban outfitters

Short Hate List

1. Siblings who are creepily close and then wonder why people think they’re dating each other. Don’t rent The Notebook with your brother, it’s fucking weird.
2. People whose idea of class is having granite counter tops. *Puke*
3. When people pronounce “drawing” “drawring.“
   
4. Say it with me women. Leggings. Are. Not. Pants. Put your moose knuckle away for the love of Jehovah.
5. Whore nails in porn. It legit makes me cringe just thinking about all the bacteria trapped under those things.
6. The ubiquitous QR tags I’m seeing in advertising. Here’s one I made, enjoy.

Short Hate List

1. Maxi dresses. Let’s face it ladies, they are just glorified mu-mus.
   
2. Fishnet tights. These should be officially Halloween-only.
   
3. People who use the word “orgasmic” to describe something that’s mediocre at best. You know what…even when its describing something good its still pretty annoying.
   
4. “Boudoire” photos. If you’ve resorted to having your picture taken in tacky lingerie with shitty photoshop filters, your marriage has failed. There’s a reason your husband is looking at internet porn. If you’re not doing a photo shoot where another chick is involved, he ain’t interested.
   
5. Marketing people. How can a group of people be paid so much to know so little about what the actual fuck they’re talking about?
   
6. The word “sexting.” Especially when it’s coming out of the mouth of these women.
   
7. Vegetarians judging food. I appreciate what you’re doing, clearly you are a better person than I, but you don’t know what real food tastes like. You have no frame of reference here.
   
8. When people sign emails with just their first initial. Goal: Professional with a dash of cool. Result: Pretentious D-bag.
   
9. Guys who refer to women as “females.”

Short Hate List

1. Those insufferable family car stickers. I’m gonna get some for my car, it’s gonna be one lady with like 12 cats.
2. Let’s see…suspenders, belt AND tie? Trust me, those skinny jeans are not in any danger of falling off. Chill with the fucking accessories.
3. Flash mobs. Maybe this is why terrorists hate America. Maybe this is why I hate America.
   
4. The name Skylar.
   
5. Tosh.0. He’s to comedy as Tumblr is to blogging.

Short Hate List

1. Celebrities who have no business doing voice overs.
2. People over 25 giving the finger to the camera. Or worse, the double finger. Bitch, you buy your cat’s food from Whole Foods. Time to ditch the attitude.
3. People describing things as giving them “the edge.”
4. Anyone with a 3-D TV.
5. Places with a cover. I’m practically 30…if I go somewhere and it’s $10 to get in, guess what? Time to go home.

Short Hate List

1. Chicks who idolize Marilyn Monroe.
2. Retards who go on reality shows and cry about how they are poor and this would be their big break. I duno, try getting a job like everyone else instead of spending months being on TV. Just a suggestion.
3. People who seem like they perpetually have a cold. Wash your fucking hands.
4. Guys who will not dance at their own wedding. Seriously asshole, break a move.
5. Male directors/writers creating “kick ass” girl characters. Trinity was a kick ass character. These hos can sit down.